For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.” Psalm 139:13-16
My husband and I came across some difficulties while trying to conceive our 1st child. After numerous tests, scans, doctor appointments and prayers we were able to conceive and welcome our healthy, happy baby girl in March of 2013.
Two years later we decided to add on our family, and our 2nd daughter arrived in Spring 2015. Nine months later I wasn't feeling well and discovered I was almost three months pregnant with our third child. Now for those of you who are like me and don't excel at math, that means in three years we went from no children, to two and one on the way. There is no way around it, I was scared.
Flash forward a few months and I was 32 weeks. My fear had passed and excitement had replaced my anxiety. I was so excited to meet our 3rd baby girl. That's when I learned I had high blood pressure and was on my way to preeclampsia. I was put on bed rest and told to keep her in as long as I could. Again, the fear and the anxiety overwhelmed me. I cried, I begged God to protect this child. She was so, so special and we wanted her healthy so badly.
I laid on bed rest for 6 long weeks and I am happy to report that we now have a 4, 2 and 1 year old. Our girls are happy, healthy and absolutely everything to us.
When I read Psalms 139 I think of my feisty, adorable, smiley one year old. Spending all of that time with her on bed rest praying she was healthy and thriving. I think about how much this child has taught me, how much joy she has brought our family and how she loves her sisters, and they love her, dearly!
As shocking as it initially was, an unexpected pregnancy was something so easy to support, and embrace with faith in God and His plan. We're we financially, emotionally or physically ready for another baby, we didn't think so, but God knew otherwise. He knew this child would be the baby who wanted nothing more but to love and snuggle everyone she met. She was the baby that taught my other two children to love, honor and protect something. She has a mighty purpose in this life, as do all of our children. A purpose we don't fully know, but we trust the Lord does.
I've known that my vocation has been motherhood since I was a small child. What I didn't know is through that vocation God would take an opportunity to teach me about trust, love and strength. Feeling my babies inside of my gave me a strength I've never experienced before, and knowing those babies were special chosen for us, by our Lord is what I need to properly carry out my vocation.
I love my vocation, but motherhood is not without its difficulties and heartbreaks. My friends, pray for mothers. Pray for fathers. Pray for those who are trying, unsuccessfully, to conceive. Pray they trust the Lord's plan and always trust his love for us.
To Jesus through Mary-Dana Suther