For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.” Psalm 139:13-16
At 29 weeks pregnant with my third child, I suddenly found myself in one of the scariest times of my life. I had been sick for a couple of weeks and was rapidly losing weight. I couldn’t keep anything down, was in constant pain, and had gone to the emergency room several times to figure out what was going on.
Turns out that among other things, I had a near-fatal condition that put me into preterm labor the night before I was supposed to have a procedure done at a hospital that was over an hour away. I will never forget hearing my GI doctor say the words, “This is potentially fatal… we are well beyond the point of being able to use natural supplements and in-home treatments.”
After the nurse, my mom and I argued with the triage doctor that I could NOT be sent home while having contractions 2-5 minutes apart, I was finally admitted to labor and delivery for a total of four days. In addition to the steroid shots for the baby’s lungs and IV medication to stop the contractions, I was on a clear liquid diet because the team of doctors at that hospital, and at the one I was supposed to be at, didn’t know whether or not they would transfer me, or if they would still do the procedure, or if they would need to take the baby via c-section to give us both the
best chance to survive.
It was never an option in my mind, but here in Virginia I could have legally had an abortion at that time because the pregnancy was physically harming me and almost resulted in death. Besides the pregnancy, I had other things going against me as well. I had become a single mother at the beginning of the pregnancy, my oldest who was only two and a half, had undiagnosed special needs, and my two kids and I were living in my parents’ basement because I couldn’t afford to live in a place of my own, let alone work while I was so sick. In some minds, an abortion would’ve been the best option.
But despite everything I was going through, I couldn’t imagine killing my child so that I could live. The team of doctors were amazing, and my OB even told my mom, “We are going to do everything we can to save them both!” And they did. I was put on bed rest and half a dozen medications until I made it to our goal of 35 weeks. My largest baby of all was born via repeat c-section at 38 weeks after I went into labor again.
Now my baby is two and a half, and I can’t imagine life without her. It has been a long, difficult, crazy 3+ years, but I don’t even want to begin to think about how different things would be if I had made a different decision in that hospital. I had no idea what was going to happen when I saw that positive pregnancy test on the bathroom sink, but God certainly knew what He was doing when He created her. She continues to stretch me and challenge me as a mother every single day. She is the craziest, wildest, most daring, adventurous, spirited, strong-willed, hungriest, happiest Amberlyn Rose I have ever met, and I’m so glad she’s mine.
To Jesus through Mary – a very exhausted, Adrianna Tucker
( Images of Amber living her beautiful little life below)