Was there ever a time in your life when a song seemed inescapable? It happens when a song becomes a big hit. For a while, there was a time when I couldn’t escape the song “Love Story” by Taylor Swift. I’m a self-proclaimed Taylor Swift fan, but even I got sick of seemingly hearing that song wherever I went, especially whenever I felt cynical about my future relationships.
Of course, my favorite quote from CS Lewis reminds me about what happens when you try to give up on love completely:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
It’s good to have expectations and standards when it comes to dating, but don’t demand more than what your significant other can give. Don’t try to push things too far just because you want intimacy or marriage. Be relaxed and give the person you’re dating the benefit of the doubt. And don’t be too disappointed when things don’t work out because it means that there’s a good chance the next guy you date will be better.
Don’t let your relationships define and consume you and don’t think that you’re entitled to a relationship just because you act nice to a guy. Many women hate how guys feel entitled to having a date when they act nice to a girl, but they don’t realize how often they try to do the same to men. Don’t be a perfectionist and try to find meaning behind every minute action that happens when you date.
Notice how level headed Tobias and Ruth are when they pursue the ones that they hope to marry. Tobias is unafraid of possibly being killed on his wedding night because he knows that he is Sarah’s kinsman-redeemer. Ruth braves the night in order to declare her love for Boaz. She, essentially, proposes to him, declaring him her kinsman-redeemer.
Don’t be afraid of whatever bad things may happen to you, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. Every relationship has its problems. But it helps to know that God is always with you, no matter what happens.
STUDY QUESTIONS: What are your standards when it comes to relationships? Do they focus on the character of your significant other or is it more superficial? How do you think God contributes to marriages and other relationships? Is God part of the relationships that you have now?